Another Delco Guy In South Jersey

And That's The Ballgame - Andy Musser Passes

The three voices that I most associate with my youth have all left us now.  First 'His Whiteness,' Richie Ashburn stepped out of the announcer's booth in New York City and passed into the night after calling a Phillies - Mets game in the Phils' dreadful 1997 last-place season.

Fresh off calling the 2008 World Series win for the Phils, Harry Kalas died preparing for a game in Washington, DC.  I cried that day, and again a few days later when thousands welcomed Harry home to Philly one last time.  While we still get to hear him sing 'High Hopes' every time the Phillies win at CBP, I still tune in sometimes and expect to hear him calling the game.

And today we lost Andy Musser, the third member of the Phillies broadcasting crew of my youth.  He was always the quietest of the three, the most generally reserved, but I really think he only paled in comparison because of the two Hall of Famers he worked with.  His double play calls were as smooth as Bowa, Trillo and Rose were on the field.

Some would argue Musser's voice went silent years ago when the Phillies management pushed him aside to give Chris Wheeler a larger role.  I still heard a bit of a bit of it in my mind though until Harry passed a few years ago. Wheeler and Tim McCarver were a part of those broadcasting teams as well, but never really seemed to be as big a part.  McCarver went on to make it big in broadcasting.  Against all odds, Wheels is still here, over-analyzing every pitch.

I grew up lisetening to the Phils on the radio on my grandfather's porch, and on TV on Sunday afternoons at my other grandfather's in Essington.  The silences were as important as the things that were said.

Today, we lost my last link to the soundtrack of my summer afternoons and evenings. I'm sad, but I remember seeing Musser a few years ago at a beer event he was working.  Someone inevitably asked him if he missed the games.  He looked wistful for just a moment and said something like, 'I'd be crazy if I didn't, but I've got a good life.'

Andy, thanks for all the great memories and say hello to Whitey and Harry for me.  I'll have an Anchor Steam for you!

2011 - A Year In Review

I've tried to write this year in review a few times without it sounding too maudlin.  Speaking candidly, 2011 is a year I am glad to have over and I am looking forward to 2012 and the promise that it brings.

As the year draws to a close, I have weathered some significant storms.  There were moments when I thought, 'Can there really be anything else coming?'  Some things will take more time to play out fully, but I think that at the end of 2011, things are looking a bit brighter.

We all know the hard things that have happened, but there have been some wonderful moments as well.  Emma and John are the stars of the circus that is my life. They have been super though all of the changes we have seen this year and I am so happy for all of their achievements.  Emma is a happy and determined little ballerina and John makes the most of his talent on the baseball field every day.  The best times I have had this year were watching them do the things that they love.  The kindness they show each other and to their family and friends makes me wonder how I got so lucky.  I am lucky to know a lot of great kids, but they are the best of the best!

My brother Matt and Heidi got married this summer in a beautiful place that we all love.  I was honored to speak for them on their special day.  It is without any irony in the world that I say that they deserve each other. I will always be grateful for advice and support he has given me over the years. She is a beautiful person who I am so happy to have as a sister.

My parents and sister and rest of the family have been with me at every moment along the way and the kids and I have appreciated the gifts, kindnesses and the places to sleep as we have made our personal adjustments.  They say blood is thicker than water and this has been a year where I have fond that be be a very true statement.

That is not to say that I could have done it without my friends.  You guys (and ladies) have been an amazing well of support, helping me move in the heat, feeding me, entertaining me and the kids, checking in by text and email and dropping by to say hello, you have made things fun for me again in a way that I cannot begin to thank you for fully.

I'm most sad for the friends I have lost this year, both for me and for my kids.  We are who we are today in large part because of all that they have meant to us over the years.  However, I am also very happy to have met some new friends int he last few months.  With every change there is opportunity and I have appreciated getting to know some new people.

While things have been difficult at times, I have to say it's been a great year in a lot of ways.  I have re-discovered my writing voice, both here on the site and in some other work I am doing.  At my core I am a writer and that re-birth has been an exciting journey.  As someone said to me a few months ago, 'You write better sad.'  I don't know about better, but I certainly write MORE.  I've also been able to take a lot of photos this year, mostly of the kids, but also of places I have visited, games I have covered and generally everything that is around me. 

Sometimes I write, sometimes I take pictures.  Either way, I am trying to be more than a journalist of my life. I appreciate all that you friends have done to be part of my life this year. 

So as the lyrics of 'What are You Doing New Year's Eve' play though my head, I wish you all a wonderful New Years Eve and I hope that your 2012 is fun, exciting, safe and prosperous.

Gone

Every day there is less around to remind me of you

The ordinary things that summoned you to mind

Are used up or fall to pieces and are swept away

And your existence seems all that much harder to prove

I reach for the phone to call the familiar numbers

And realize I can’t.  You are gone. The call won’t go through

How quickly it happened, a short slide and then

One day here, one day gone.

And I wonder, really wonder

What might have been

What will be

And if you’re doing ok

A Time To Be Thankful

It's Thanksgiving in America.  I am sure the turkey is in the oven at many houses already. But before its scent starts to fill the house or we all run off to wherever we are gathering later, it's time to think about the things that make our lives special and give thanks.

It's been a year of great personal turmoil and change for me.  I've had to move, lost a relationship with a wonderful partner, downsized my life and forced to take a hard look at who I am and what is really important.

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday because we can spend some time reflecting and then we usually get to enjoy our friends and family eating great food and sitting around the TV or fire.  These days, with Facebook and Skype and the like, there isn't as much catching up to do, but it's still important to have the gatherings.  I know from experience these last few months that the internet and the connections it brings can be a great friend when you are lonely, but there is no substitute for everyone being together.

Gas is $3.13 this morning.  A winter vacation isn't in the cards for many of us this year.  The economy is still stagnant and there is no NBA season.  Congress can't agree on a single thing and the only thing the Republican presidential candidates agree on is that it's all Obama's fault. 

Still, we live free in the greatest nation on earth.  I was able to get up and go to Wawa this morning in my car, my kids are playing nicely in the living room and we have a nice little home we have made our own.  We have many challenges, but far more to be thankful for.

Today I am thinking about the 102 settlers who came across the storm-tossed Atlantic seeking just the life I live today (with a lot more church going probably).  I am also thinking about the millions of men and women who were already here, living for generations in this land before Europeans invaded.  I am thinking about the land itself and all that it provides for us in food, shelter, energy, and recreation. 

I am very thankful for all those who will not be able to spend the day with their families, from the men and women serving in the armed forces, the police officers and first responders on duty keeping us safe, everyone in the service industry feeding America today and all those folks at retail establishments who will stock the shelves so we can take everything we want home today and tonight.

I am also thankful for those who are gone now.  Family and friends who were very important to me and to John and Emma for a long time.  The impact of those who we miss today can't be measured, but can be seen every day in who we are and in how we live.

My family and friends have gotten me through a very difficult period.  I am thankful to them for providing great summer vacations, a place relax and enjoy, a beautiful wedding and party, help moving and re-establishing and so many moments of fellowship that I can't even count them all.  As doors close in any life, new doors open and I have been heartened to find all kinds of folks, both new to our life and returners, behind the doors we have opened and re-opened recently.

Finally I am thankful for my two wonderful children.  John and Emma make it all worth it.  They fill the house with noise, give me so many moments of joy and help me see the positives even on really tough days.  They are the constant in my life.

This is my 6th Thanksgiving day post, and Norman Rockwell's 'Freedom From Want' has been with us since the beginning.  It's symbolic to me of all that it means to be an American.  But that's the simple, easy version of being an American.  The truth is, that it's a lot harder than the picture makes it out to be.  So today, please take a moment to consider the sacrifices of all those who make your life what it is today.  Thank those you can and remember and consider those you can't.

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Beautiful To Me

There’s a flower called a Columbine that I love.  It’s a green, leafy plant that puts out lots of blue flowers with white centers in May.  The flowers are tough little things.  They can handle wind and rain pretty well.  It’s not everybody’s idea of the perfect flower, but I love them.

The house I always wanted is gone now, but I’ll always remember its peeling yellow paint and mis-matched red trim.  The bad kitchen and the falling down shed.  The wide screened porch was out of place in a fishing village, but it was a great place to sit and read and listen to the harbor sounds.  The front yard was swampy and rocks filled the back yard, but there was peace in that house for me.

I don’t know many people who like the smell of low tide, but it has always been one of my favorite things.  It is the beginning and the end, life and death.  Some how I find all of nature present it that one scent.  I’ll drive miles and miles to sit at low tide and have the wind blow in my face.  It’s about the most perfect that things can be.

There is a moment of dizziness when you have pushed yourself as far as you can go and you must pause to consider if this is it or if more is possible.   Sometimes it comes on the basketball court, other times sitting at a computer keyboard, often just between two people.  As your heart races and your chest heaves, your mind reels and you see he expanse of all that is and can be.  It’s a moment of perfection.  The infinite is possible in that moment, but the abyss yawns as well.  The tension in that choice is life and life is beautiful.

-- I wrote this in April, 2004.  I recently found it while cleaning up my hard drive and thought its sentiments were worth sharing. 

Scents From The Past

Isn't it amazing how much emotion the whiff of a specific scent can create, launching you into the time machine to a place so far removed from your current existence?

You know what I mean right?  A former lover's perfume leaves you useless and distracted in a meeting for two hours.  The tang of juniper can nearly conjure the taste of of your first gin and tonic.  The power of the memory is enough to cause you an almost physical reaction, from the warmth of desire to the chill from the flowery scent of a funeral home.

For me, the smell of roast beef brings me back to Sunday nights at my grandmother's house.  The particular smell of the older Wawa markets brings me back to nights spent working overnight and the 3 am coffee run.  The scent of oranges and vanilla return me to my mother's holiday kitchen as a teenager.  Sage transports me to the cliffs of La Jolla and the smell of chalk to my 4th grade classroom. The smell of tomatoes on my hands to my grandfather's garden.

Somehow, the mind holds it all, bringing it back when the moment is most exquisite.  Take some time this week to enjoy the smells of fall around us.  It's the time of burning leaves, mulled apple cider, pumpkin pie and the first crispness in the morning air.  See what you remember!

At Another Time In My Life

I was having dinner with some good friends the other night when I was reminded of a recurring scene from my life that still brings a smile to my face nearly 20 years later.

On most Sunday nights from 1992 until sometime in 1994, I sat with some real good friends in a wooden booth at a bar overlooking State Street in Media, Pennsylvania.  Joclyn's Bar is still there, up a steep flight of wooden stairs into a gloomy series of rooms that was a dive then and is even more of a dive today.

Back then though, it was where a few of us serendipitously found a place where we ended the weekend and got ready for the week.  A local folk singer-songwriter was the soundtrack of our Sunday nights, covering anything you wanted from Elvis to The Eagles, as long as you wrote the request on a dollar bill.  John Flynn's originals silenced the din of the bar though, making us look sadly at the necks of our beer bottles, or wistfully out the windows, or even, sometimes, late in the evening, sing along.

There was Lisa the self-tipping waitress, whose hair ranged from 3/4 of an inch tall all the way to two inches and knew how to flirt just enough.  We helped he move one hot summer day and helped her shovel her car out the night of the blizzard.  We threw our money in the middle of the table and she took what she needed for the beer and a little for herself for each round. 

Every now and then Bopper or Jim and I would try to bring someone new into the group, from my college friends to the women who would become our wives, but they never were really comfortable. It was a low key place back then and orders for Chardonnay were greeted with Lisa's bemused smirk.  My college friends never understood the folk music thing and never came back for a second Sunday night.

Joclyn's is different now, John Flynn doesn't play there anymore and I had not thought about Lisa in years.  Jim, Bopper and I have kids now, and we're too tired at the end of a weekend for Sunday night shenanigans. Still, there have not been too many places that I have hung out in that were as perfect in that moment as Joclyn's was on those nights.

The romantic poets were always my favorites, exalting us to take up the "carpe diem" banner and draw as much out of life as we can.  This post isn't as much an homage to a those long-ago Sunday nights as much as it is a notation of the moment I realized how many others I had let past with treasuring them as deeply as I should have. We've all got a Joclyn's in our life that can help remind us.

On 9/11

You can't be an American these days without knowing that today marks the 10 year anniversary of the terrorist attacks on New York City and the Washington DC area.  Even my daughter, blissfully unaware of the war on terror all of her life, understands today's import.

Today is first a day to remember those who were lost.  Most of them ordinary people, just going about their lives when evil was visited upon them.  The families, friends and nation they left behind didn't get to say goodbye and could not mourn personally.  Instead their loss was subsumed into a great American grief.  I hope that the intervening 10 years have given everyone who knew them an opportunity to remember them as they were, real people, living real lives.  People who made mistakes and did wonderful things, fathers, mothers, children, confidantes.

We should remember too the people who knew there was a danger and went into harm's way, showing the terrorists the finest example of American courage.  The first responders, the heroes of Flight 93, the workers who died from environmental dangers in the 10 years since.  Ordinary people who did honorable things, showing the world that evil will not - cannot - prevail.

Today should be a day when we go out and live our American lives. Watch football, shop, play baseball or soccer, enjoy time with our families.  We need to live 9/11 as a day like any other American Day.  Americans never forget, but they always move on.  Today is a day for doing both, and each honors those we lost 10 years ago.

Alumni Game 2011 Is In the Books

This past Saturday, my son John and I made the trek back to Delco for the annual Cabrini Basketball Alumni Game and a full day of hoops on the hardwood in the Nerney Fieldhouse at the Dixon Center.

The women's basketball alumni tipped the day off at 11 with a run down memory lane.  While I was not able to attend due to fathering duties at home, I understand the attendance for their first alumni game was soild and there are plans to contiune the tradition next year.

The current version of the women's team kept things rolling along with a 74-45 thrashing of College of Notre Dame.  Freshman Annie Rivituso helped the team to its 10th win with her first career double-double.

The men's team continued its dominance of the CSAC with a 90-76 drubbing of Marywood University.  Senior Dom Farrello had a career game in front of the alumni, pouring in 33 points as the Cavs played every man on the roster and nailed down a top seed in the CSAC tournament next week.

The hospitality room had the usual array of goodies and gave Coach Dzik a place to hold forth.  Coaches Joe Kelly, Mike Keeley, Gabby Hartnett and Bob McTamney also stopped in to grab a few bites to eat in between games.  Superfans Mike Fallon, Paul Engle and Darnell Engle also were in the house (as usual).  The best managers any program ever had, Jim Iacovino, Phyllis Cohen, Kelly Gallagher and Andrea Kelliher also made appearances.

The men's alumni game featured 21 players from the past, some of whom looked like they could have suited up for current Cavs coach Marcus Kahn and some of whom looked as if they needed to mix in a few salads. I can't name everyone, but it's safe to say that guys going as far back as "Sticks" Bennett and as recent as Jim Good and company represented every eara of Cabrnin basketball. Former head coach John Dzik took to the mic and called the game.  I coached called timeouts for the blue team and Mike Keeley took the gray squad.  AD Joe Guinta threw in some great prizes and we were honored by the presence of several members of the current Cavs squad, the coaching staff and Cabrini President Dr. Marie George.

The blue squad sprinted out to a 15 point lead, helped a great deal by Laval Pickney's 0-for the half from the charity stripe.  Ultimately youth won over experience, and my blue team succumbed to the gray team by 15 points.  It was good to see so many guys in the house and really wonderful to see the families and friends come back from over the years.

Cabrini basketball is a family and our family is thankful to have the strong support of the current administration and athletics leadership.  They do a great job making sure we feel welcome and putting on a great event.  As I have said before and continue to believe, Marcus Kahn understands the college and D3 basketball and has done a great job restoring the program over the last three years.  Finally, special thanks to John Mack for all he does for the basketball alumni and everything he did to make Saturday successful!

Photos from the day are up on my Flickr site.  If you have some to share, please post the link in the comments section.  Thanks again to everyone who made my son and I feel so good on Saturday and GO CAVS!

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's cold and gray outside.  There is a hint of woodsmoke in the air. Geese honk softly above.  It's Thanksgiving in America.  While this has not been an easy year For Another Delco Guy, there is still much to be thankful for.

The recession finally directly visited our doorstep this year as Char lost her job in July in the wake of Gov. Chris "Chainsaw" Christie's budget cuts to schools across our state.  Through a ton of work and perseverance on her part, she has found new work since then, but it's been a struggle in a lot of ways.

We had to take the kids out of the schools they love a few weeks back, but they are adjusting to their "new normal" and have really been an inspiration to me as I have been rolling with this year's punches.  There is nothing in my life I am as thankful for as the love that John and Emma bring to our home.  Wether it's dancing with joy on stage or triumphantly striking out the side, they are really amazing children who have brought us so much laughter and happiness.

I'm a pretty lucky guy.  I've got a solid job at a great place.  I was able to get an education that has given me virtually everything I could have hoped for in life.  I am able to write, travel and live pretty much as I please.  My freedoms are protected by the service of men and women who I have never met and who place themselves in harm's way for my family and our country.  I thank them today for their service to our nation.  I also thank all the teachers and mentors who have helped me at every stop in my life.  I may not be where I thought I would be, but where I am is a pretty darn good spot!

The men and women who, in 1620, came to what would become the United States left everything they knew, persevered though horrible weather and hardships that make my life look regal.  After the harvest of 1621, the remaining colonists gathered with the local native Americans and shared a simple meal.  From that first peaceful meal, grew the Thanksgiving tradition we have today.  The values that they set forth then, of shared sacrifice, hard work, freedom of choice and providing for a community's education and defense are the foundations of our great country today.

A small tradition here at Another Delco Guy is Norman Rockwell's Freedom from Want, which always graces our page on Thanksgiving.  It reminds me of the great Thanksgivings of my childhood in my grandparent's house back in Delaware County.  This is our fifth Thanksgiving day post and Norman has been here since the beginning.  I am thankful for a childhood that taught me to not take anything for granted.  My parents and grandparents worked hard to make sure that we had all that we needed and then some.  I hope I can do as well for my children.

Today is my favorite holiday.  We will be surrounded by family and friends who will come from far and wide to our little house with their offerings of food and friendship.  All of those who will be here and the family and friends who are celebrating elsewhere but have been so incredible to me over the years are the reason that my life is great and Thanksgiving is the best holiday of the year.  We will celebrate each others company, watch football, remember those who can't be here, become thoughtful about all that we have to give thanks for and finally fall asleep against each other in front of the fire. 

And that's the way it should be.  Happy Thanksgiving America!

Pool From My Past

I am presenting at a conference in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania and was startled to see this unusual indoor-outdoor pool when I checked into the hotel last night. I wasn't startled because of the unusual design where you can swim under the wall of the hotel, but rather because I recognized it from the misty distant past of my childhood.

When this Sheraton was new some 30 years ago, my mom, dad, sister and me visited here regularly so my father could attend PSEA board meetings. As a 10 year old, I haunted the halls, hung out in the whirlpool and generally made a nuisance of myself.

This week it's just a quick trip out, so last night I caught a half of football over some chicken fingers and went back to the room to prepare for today's presentation.  The food and bar were nothng to write home about.  The room, while nicely appointed has terribly thin carpet and the neighboring plumbing can be heard plainly.  It's a hotel that was built cheaply in the late 70s and the updates have not kept it quite up to what I think of as a Sheraton.

Thanks to Tom Carnwarth and everyone at the PA Datatel User's Group for having me and making me feel so welcome!

The Gang's All Here

Coaches and Players - HoF Induction 2010
Originally uploaded by Cavalier92

On Friday night, John Dzik got what he had coming.

A night dedicated solely to him.

Cabrini buried the hatchet with my old friend, mentor and coach, recognizing his 25 years at the helm of one of the most successful men's basketball programs in Division III history. About 300 friends, family and players filled The House that Dzik Built, otherwise known as the Nerney Field House in the Dixon Center.

As a coach, teacher and person, John Dizk is without peer and it was fitting that he went into the Cabrini Athletics Hall of Fame as the only inductee this year. One day soon, Cabrini should also recognize the two men who coached at his side for the entire 25 year run. Mike Keeley and Joe Kelly are guys who deserve a night like Friday night as well.

I don't have a whole lot I can say about the event. To comment too much would take away from it.  The induction was well-done from start to finish. Joe Giunta gets it and is doing a great job as AD at Cabrini. He's done yeoman's work restoring the trust of the alumni and his work as emcee Friday was solid. Marie Angelella George, Cabrini's president said all the right things in admitting Cabrini's error in casting aside a legend 5 years ago.

Michael "Sticks" Bennett represented the players well in remembering what it was like to play for Dzik. Mike Keeley spoke from the heart about his friend John. Joe Kelly covered all the bases talking about the highlights of the program. Gabby Harnett gave a dead-on impersonation. Mike Dzik spoke movingly of Dzik as a Dad, something no one else could cover.

Then The Big Dog took the stage. I'm pretty sure he thanked everyone he ever met in his 20 minutes at the podium. It was clear he was honored by the chance to say good-bye on his terms, and he took the time to let us know that he is doing just fine now that the sting has gone away. He spoke with dignity and pride, and we listened, attentive as always, as he closed the book on his life at Cabrini.

No one deserves the honors and plaudits more than Coach Dzik and I am glad we all got the chance to let him know how much he meant to us all.

HARD, SMART TOGETHER ... CAVALIERS!!!!

Reflections on 9/11

Virtually everyone here in the United States and the world over will be talking about remembering and looking back today.  While this is an entirely appropriate impulse on the ninth anniversary of the terrorist attacks on New York and Washington DC, looking back doesn't do enough.

This is a time to look forward.  To live.   To experience.  It is of immense importance that we spend today being Americans, celebrating our freedom, experiencieng all the wonderful things our country has to offer, gathering to show that we are a people of hope and optimism. 

In doing so though, we must also remember all those that died that day and in the years since who were going about their normal American existences when hatred reached out and took them from us.  The example should be simple.  In their names, we must live our lives without hatred and in support of the ideals that this nation was founded on.

So I say go out today and enjoy baseball games and dance classes, back yard bar-b-ques and dinners out on the town.  Be defiantly free in your ability to do as you wish.  It's the best way to show those who hate us that hatred cannot stand a chance in the face of optimism and determination.

A Legend Passes - Remembering Greg Greenday

I grew up a sports-crazed kid in Delaware County, where my grandfathers taught me all there was to know about the Phillies and Eagles and my dad talked about watching games at The Palestra in the heyday of the Big Five.  It was a heady time to grow up, with every one of our teams in the hunt for the playoffs nearly every year of my childhood. 

Some of the greatest sports voices of a generation were on the air then.  Bill Campbell, Whitey, Harry Kalas and Merrill Reese's rich voices were the narrators of the great sports moments of my childhood, both broadcast live and mimicked from the backyard.

And the newspapers!  I remember days when I had four papers to read, from the urbane Bulletin to the gritty Daily News to the local flavor of the Daily Times.  It was the height of the sports columnist in Philadelphia as well, with names like Frank Dolson, Bill Lyon and Bill Conlin adding color to the players I idolized.

But in Delaware County, one guy was a legend above the rest.  Greg Greenday was a local boy from St. James who lived in Brookhaven. Seemingly every day, he was filling in the detail from a Big Five game or the NFC East or setting the line for the epic high school football battles of my teenage years.

Greenday took me places I could never go, inside the Villanova locker room or to Amen corner at Augusta.  He taught me, by example, that writing was a ticket that could take a kid from Delaware County just about anywhere he wanted to go.

Sadly, last weekend Greg Greenday's journey ended after 61 years.

When I was working at Widener and coaching at Cabrini, I got to know Greg as more of a person than a mythic figure.  I found that the beautifully written game stories and columns came not just from immense talent, but also from a caring person with a diligent research ethic and vast memory that is so rare in journalism today.

Greg was one of the best questioners I ever saw work.  He would pause after an answer, make his notes, think for a moment, carefully considering how to approach the next point.  Greg was able to ask gently probing questions after losses that gave readers (and young coaches) insights into the game that would have been missed by most. He also brought great humor to an interview, laughing and joking, comfortable among men being boys. 

We were always happy when we saw him at the table for a game. We knew we would get a great story the next day, sure.  But we also knew he would have something positive to say, along with a funny inside story for us from somewhere he had been that week.  He had a perfect sense of the moment, always able to put you at ease or to let you go when you had nothing more to say.

There were a lot of great things written about Greg Greenday this week.  One thing that I think did not come through clearly enough is what a great writer he was.  He wrote with elegance and poetry, with a style that let you know he loved every minute of what he was doing.  But there was no self importance to the work.  He had a reverence for the games and the people he covered and he did every thing possible to let you know that.  He could cover the Eagles, sure, who couldn't?  But Greg made BOWLING interesting enough for me to read his weekly column in the 80s.

When he left the Daily Times a few years ago, I tried to explain to Greg how important his writing had been to me as a young person.  I stammered something about him making me want to be a writer.  He brushed it off, saying that it was nothing, he was just having fun doing his job. 

I am sure there were dozens of other kids like me, Greg.  Thanks for writing sports like no one else did.

On Old Friends, Being a Parent and the Space-Time Continuum

Today I saw a friend of mine - a great dad - who I have seen only a few times since college.  While talking about our children, the years melted away and we were 18 again.  It was a good conversation.  Full of memories and laughter, sadness and moments of quiet.  One we have to have again far sooner than we have had in the past.

Our children are our link to all that is good in our past and a guarantee that the future will be bright.

While James Earl Jones in "Field of Dreams" who said that it was baseball that reminds us of all that once was good and it could be again, he was wrong.

It is our children. They are our link to the past and future.

Cavalier Alumni Game In the Books

Cavalier Basketball Alumni - 2010
Originally uploaded by Cavalier92

Whew! That sure was a lot of fun!

On the day that John Dzik lost his first game as head coach in over five years, 30 of his former players put on a heck of a show in the annual Cabrini Cavalier Alumni Game at the Nerney Fieldhouse in the Dixon Center.

The House That Dzik Built was busy all day as the women's Alumni Gmae kicked things off at 11am, followed by senior point guard Deana DiAmico leading the women's team to a 70-56 win over Marywood. The men kept things rolling as Kevin Misevicius became the 14th member of the 1,000-point and led the Cavs over Marywood 91-77. The win locked up home court advantage though the CSAC playoffs.

And then the old guys had their moment in the sun. John Mack kept us organized, Coaches Kelly and Keeley called the action from the table and the Blue squad topped Eric Tidwell's Gray squad 83-76 in OT. The game featured a ceremonial tip from Cabrini President Angelella George, some nice outside shooting, a few Laval Pickney dunks and a lot of griping about my 'coaching' from the blue squad.

In the end we all had a good time and I'm thankful that so many guys came out. Special appearances were made by former coaches Rob Rowe, Ken Schiller, Steve Harrow, Matt Alzamora, and Bob McTamney. Super fan Paul Engle was in the house as were the best managers ever, Kelly Gallagher and Phyllis Cohen. The thirty players brought a throng of moms and dads, friends, family wives, girlfriends and children. My son John loved the basketball, the humor, and the fellowship.

I've been involved in Cabrini hoops in one way or another since 1988. This year the folks at Cabrini got it right. The president was there an involved. The game was prime time. No more being ignored by the administration or relegated to a 9 am game. Joe Guinta and his staff, currents Cavs coach Marcus Kahn and the folks from the Mansion treated us well and I am here to say we appreciate it.

Coach Dzik had planned to be here this year, but when he had to take over the Piedmont women's program for the rest of the year, we had to do it without him. He's 6-1 as a women's coach this year and is enjoying things, but looking to turn the reins back over at the end of the year. I spoke to Coach last night as he licked his wounds from his first loss. "I still hate losing," he said. "Some things never change I guess."

He's right. Some things don't change. Coach Marcus Kahn has restored the program to respectability and a spot in the D3hoops.com Top 25 poll. We all loved seeing each other and telling old stories. Everyone on campus Saturday was a winner and no one go hurt. Now there's a good way to spend a day!

We come back because we enjoyed our time in the gym. We love the guys we played with and it's great to be involved in something that has endured over four decades now. We've got kids and busy lives, too much to do and too little time, but we still find a way to get back each year and keep it going. Because we're part of the chain and we need to honor the guys who play today as well as those who have gone on and can't any more.

Thanks to everyone who made the day great for us. A few photos from the day are up on my Flickr site. See ya next year!

On Facebook

Apparently Facebook is the new place to announce your engagement

I've been thinking a lot about Facebook lately and social networking in general after I announced my engagement on the site in December. The flurry of congratulations from random people I have not seen in months or years was stunning. My childhood babysitter, a guy I coached baseball with for my son's team, some folks from college and high school. It all seemed a little bit odd. These are good people, all of them. And I love to see what is going on in their lives, but it did make me stop to think.

Why do people (myself included) who rarely buy birthday cards for people they see every day suddenly start posting birthday wishes for that cute girl from grade school who now lives in Montana, the wife of the guy who used to play in a band I like or the kid's teacher from 3 years ago? I get that it's convenient and way easier than a card and a stamp and writing and mailing and all, but really, why bother?

Three basic reasons, I think.

One is that Facebook helps us be the people we'd really like to be. You know the ones, the people who send cards for all the major holidays, keep up with what old friends are doing, know the ages of all their cousin's kids, make the best guacamole for parties and always seem to have great photos of the kids in the Christmas card. We can't every really be that person. He (more likely she) is a freak of nature akin to folks who can bench press cars and are 7 feet tall.

But yet, with a minimum of effort, Facebook lets us pretend to be that person, even in the most diluted way.

The second reason is that Facebook is all about helping us connect with who we used to be. It's a lot less about who we are today than who we used to be, or even who we wanted to be back then. It opens up a lot of windows into the past, where we see ourselves 15 pounds lighter with 80s hair and a goofy smile on our faces. Some of those windows are best left closed, like the ex who was kinda weird and stalkerish or the former boss who drunkenly hit on you once but never mentioned it again. Best to just click ignore on those folks.

We still seem to end up with an army of people we sorta remember from high school and people we didn't really hang out that much with in college to go with the people we don't talk to much at work, the assistant coach's wife and the contractor that did a lousy job on the door. Facebook is the way the geek from chem. Class gets to talk to the star quarterback or the hall monitor gets to chat it up with the hot cheerleader, albeit 20 years too late.

Bottom line is that it's a continuous class reunion, with all the fun chatter, awkward remembrances and naughty possibilities running 24/7 on your netbook in the living room while the kids do homework and your spouse is on the Wii Fit.

The final reason that we all say happy birthday to the jerk father of the jerk kid from the soccer team and join causes we could care less about is that Facebook easily fulfills our basic need to just belong to something, to connect with others and be somehow larger than the person in the existence we have today. It's a pretty basic human need. Facebook is the bridge club and afternoon corner tavern of this generation. None of us bowl anymore, but we all play Farmville and tell the world about our latest Bejeweled score.

And in the pale blue light of the LCD screen, that is what passes for connection and human bonding as we move into the second decade of this millennium.

Friday Fantastic Four

Well we all have moments that throw us for a loop.  I’ve had a few in my life, and each time they make me realize just what an unpredictable species we are.  Sometimes that makes life just a bit harder.  At the same time, it’s also one of the things that make the world a funny place.

What four things have surprised you most in your life?

1. That I would see the federalization of the American economy – and that a Republican would have gotten the ball rolling on the project.
2. That it’s so easy to get married and so hard to get divorced.
3. That concrete floats.
4. That we had a parade on Broad Street that did not involve cross-dressing union members and banjos.

Have a great weekend and GO PHILS!

One Hell of A Year

This is a year people will talk about for a very long time, both locally, as well as nationally and globally.

On a local level, the major story is the Phils breaking the curse of Billy Penn and winning it all for the first time in 28 years.  What a season and what a parade!  Chase Utley said it best.  We also had the usual vultures circling Andy Reid, only to see him pull a rabbit out of the hat again and get the Eagles to an improbable playoff bid.

We lost Johnny Marzano and Ann d'Harnoncourt (the only time those names will ever be in the same sentence) and effectively lost Vince Fumo.  Killadelphia was still violent, though 15% fewer people lost their lives.  Michael Nutter slashed city spending and Willie Goode's squeeze got nailed by Jeff Cole.  In South Jersey, Wayne Bryant went from most powerful man in South Jersey to just another convicted felon.  The Fort Dix terror plotters will go to jail, but not for as long as Bryant.

Alicia Lane and Booker got fired, Larry Mendte was creepy, the Comcast Center opened and Striped Bass and Samson Street Oyster House closed.

Nationally the big story was the people doing the right thing and electing the best man regardless of skin color.  Tina Fey was better as a VP candidate than Sarah Palin and John McCain's campaign looked the same when he was running as it did when it was suspended.  One governor had a hooker take him down and another sold a US Senate seat. 

The economy collapsed, despite every effort to give billions of taxpayer dollars to wealthy people.  Gas prices rocketed to over $4 and then dropped back to $1.35 here in Moorestown.  More than 300 Americans died int Iraq War, a fact that is sadly well down the list of 2008 events.

Michael Phelps outswam everyone in Bejing, including tiny 14 year old Chinese gymnasts.  The big story in China for the year was the earthquake that killed 70,000 people in May.  Terrorists struck Mumbai in an bloody week of fighting that killed more than 300.  Israel began an assault on Gaza this week, preparing for an invasion.

While the economy has had an effect on me personally as well as the rest of the world, I have been lucky this year.  The kids are great, I got to travel to Albuquerque and Santa Fe on a great trip, as well as call the Division III Final Four, visit Sedona, Annapolis, Maine, Disney, DC, Maine again, Gettysburg, Toronto, NYC, Boston, State College and Southern California. 

I got to watch the Phils clinch with John and my princess walk in a parade the same day the Phils celebrated their second championship in my lifetime.  I've got a challenging job and work with great people.  My family made it through the year with no health crises and we see lots of the greatest friends in the world. 

And I made an important decision about my future that I will talk about another time.

In many ways 2008 was a rough year.  I feel very lucky to be able to be looking forward to 2009 while still being able to say that 2008 was a pretty good year here. 

From Another Delco Guy to you - Happy New Year.  Be safe and enjoy!

Paling In Comparison

  1990-91 Loquitur Editors 
  Originally uploaded by Cavalier92

Every now and then I get to do something that just feels right.  This afternoon I went back to the Mansion at Cabrini.  Unlike most of the rest of the times I went there, i wasn't headed up to a girl's room.  So much has changed in 15 years!

What hasn't changed is that the Cabrini Communications students are still among the best around.  Today we honored all of their great work over the last year, including an ACP Pacemaker for The Loquitur, well-deserved honors for WYBF and all kinds of scholarships and good things for the current students.

Jerry Zurek is and always has been the heart of the Communications program at Cabrini.  I was proud to see him honored by so many alumni who returned to thank him for all that he has done for us.  We also wanted to make sure that the current students knew that we value all that they have done.  Their accomplishments are truly amazing.  As I heard all that this year's winner of the Philadelphia Ad Club Scholarship, Amanda Finnegan, had done, I thought back to how little I had done in comparison in winning the award in 1992. 

These students are covering human rights atrocities in Darfur, advocating for Fair Trade coffee on campus, covering presidential campaigns, and doing it better than my friends and I ever did.   We made up baseball teams and dogged the College president, but had no concept of our ability to create change beyond Cabrini's 110 acres.

Congratulations to everyone honored today and best of luck as you look forward to graduation.

A Dream

My Grandpop died 12 years ago this month.  I've written about him in the past and still look up to him as someone who always helped me when he could and was as encouraging to me as anyone has ever been.  To say that I miss him, even all these years later does not begin to cover the feeling.

I recently realized that among the things I 'lost' in my divorce was the flag that my father gave me from my grand father's coffin.  I'd like to have it back, but it seems unlikely at this point.  I feel pretty guilty that it's gone now and have been upset that I let him and my family down by losing control of such an important touchstone to the past.

Last night I had a very vivid dream that Grandpop was still alive and I went to talk to him in his bedroom.  That would have been very unusual, since I only went in his bedroom a few times over the years before he got very sick near the end.  The dream was quite vivid and had a very lifelike quality to it.  It was very early morning in the dream, dawn just touching the sky.  There were Christmas presents in the house and his Norway spruce was decorated.   

I went into his room and asked him how he was doing.  'Do you need anything?' I asked.  He rolled over and looked at me and said tiredly but clearly, 'Nah. Let me sleep.'

Take it for what it's worth, but I think I will 'let him sleep' for a while.

My Personal 2007 Year in review

In the past I have spent too much time looking back and not enough looking forward.  I still don't look forward much, but I have stopped re-living the mistakes of my past.

I saw this little exercise on the internet - thanks didyouevernotice - and decided that it was actually worthwhile to take a half hour or so to look back on the year.  So please tolerate the self-indulgence for today.  You won't learn that much you didn't know, but you may smile once or twice.

The idea comes from Mary Schmich the Chicago Tribune columnist, who first popularized it in 2005.  She's also responsible for the 'Wear Suncreen' phenomenon.

In 2007, I gained seventeen pounds.
I lost my temper too often.
I stopped by Wawa too much.
I started giving away things.
I was hugely satisfied by my progress as a photographer.
And frustrated by my lack of progress as a writer.
I am so embarrassed that I am so out of shape.
Once again, I resolve to get back in shape.
Once again, I did not learn to swim.
The biggest physical difference between me last December and this December is my longer hair.
The biggest psychological difference between me last December and this
December is feeling much more at peace with where I am in life.
I loved spending time in

Maine

with the kids and GF and family.
Why did I spend even two minutes watching network TV?
I should have spent more time writing.
I regret buying pants that are now too small.
I will never regret buying my morning coffee even though with that money I could have bought a vacation.
I drank way too much.
I didn’t plan enough.
The ex drove me crazy.
Was work crazier than ever last year? Or was it me?
The most relaxing place I went was

Ontario

.
I feel so far away when I write that down.
Why did I go to Seven Springs??????
The best thing I did for someone else was kiss a boo-boo.
The best thing I did for myself was relax.
The best thing someone did for me was not something I am writing on the internet.
The one thing I’d like to do again, but do it better, is cook regularly.

Friday Fantastic Four

Well the Phils game did not go as planned yesterday, but I have an upbeat list for today to get karma rolling again in the right direction.

What are your four favorite childhood memories?

1. Walking to the pier in Cape Porpoise on our first-ever vacation to Maine in 1977.
2. Listening to the Phillies on the radio on my grandfather's back porch.
3. Building cities of sand in the big sandbox in Greg Feld's back yard.
4. Exploring the creek and woods near Walden when I was doing 'nature study.'

Let's hope all the good thoughts get the Phils back on a winning streak!

Have a great weekend!

It's On

Fourteen years ago this month, Bryen O'Boyle and I watched Curt Schilling and the Phils shut down the Toronto Blow Jays 2-0 at Veterans' Stadium in South Philadelphia.  It was to be the high water mark of the Phillies franchise for the 27 years since the magical month of October 1980. 

Today, I will be back in South Philly as Bryen and Mr. Greengenes get the crowd pumped up prior to the biggest game in a LONG LONG time here in Philly.  Then I'll be back in the office watching the game online with the rest of the Phils Phaithphul.

I'm hoping Hamels has a Schillingesque day and the Phils take the lead in the series.

I'll have photos and a wrap later today!

LETS GO PHILS!!!!!

Six Years Ago

I was at a small conference in Rindge, NH when I got the news. It was about 9:10 in the morning and details were still pretty sketchy. My assistant had called me on my cell phone while I was out for a walk enjoying the late summer New Hampshire stillness. She asked if I had heard the news that a plane had hit the  World Trade Center in New York. I hadn’t, but was pretty sure it was just an accident, a Corey Lidle-esque moment of bad flying.

 

I wandered back to the meeting that I was already late for and folks were milling about, talking on cell phones and wondering what was up. The atmosphere was unconcerned. Some of the folks got the meeting started, but I wanted to see if I could find a TV. We were staying in an older summer resort, and the only large (19”) TV around was in the lobby. 

By the time I got to the lobby, Flight 175 had hit the second World Trade tower and the mood was much more somber. A dozen or so of us watched the coverage as Katie Couric and Matt Lauer anchored the coverage and bits of video came in showing the chaos in Lower Manhattan. Tom Brokaw joined the broadcast. There wasn’t a whole lot of analysis going on, but the emotion was clear.

When they started to get reports of explosions in DC, even before knowing about the Pentagon, I decided it was just about time to start thinking about driving home. It was unclear if the airports were open, if the highways were Ok to travel, or if we should just stay put where we were. 

I don’t sit still well, but I was mesmerized by the coverage. Fires at the Pentagon, billowing smoke in
Manhattan, confusion on the air. When Katie Couric was unable to determine what was happening as the first WTC tower fell, and I knew that history in America had changed; I went upstairs and packed my bag. I was on the road for the 6 plus hour trip when news that Flight 93 had gone down came sketchily out of western Pennsylvania. I was driving when news came that President Bush was in Louisiana, his leadership team in a DC bunker. I was almost home when word came that he would address the nation that night.

I listened primarily to NPR affiliates, Robert Siegel, Melissa Block and Noah Adams among others. I would switch up now and then for local traffic. I kept trying to talk to my wife and parents, but cell phones were jammed and I was only able to get through a basic message that I was OK and headed home. From what I could tell, everyone else who I knew was ok too. I stopped for lunch at a bar somewhere in Connecticut, watched some more coverage on TV  and decided that I would take a wide loop around New York City,  way out to the Thruway and then down into New Jersey on 287.

I knew that meant I would not see the smoke, but I didn’t really feel the need. I don’t want it to see like I am reading too much into this, but as I had driven north for the conference a few days before I had taken special note of the New York City skyline and the Twin Towers in particular. I had called home to tell John, then 15 months old, that I was looking at New York. He wasn’t particularly impressed.

Driving back, I didn’t feel like I needed to see what it was like. I also just wanted to be home and hold my son and feel safe.

In re-reading everything that happened that day, I am amazed at all the things that went wrong. I am amazed at how unready we were. It is truly unreal how little we still know as a nation about all that went on behind the scenes. If this was Bush’s finest hour it’s only in the perspective of some of the truly horrible moments he has had since then. 

I’ve never written about the horrific events of 9/11/01. I didn’t think I had much to add. And I probably don’t, but I have this to say I and I hope others hear it:

Monuments and memorials are not the way to honor those who died that day. The heroes and the innocents of 9/11 and all of those who have died in the “War on Terror” since then deserve more. Much more. They deserve our honest interpretation of and staunch defense of the Constitution. They deserve a nation ready for any threat, mobilized to protect our freedoms and defend our nation. They also deserve to know that their government will work to protect every American, while also safeguarding our freedoms.

And we need to remember. They deserve as much.

Happy Birthday Grandpop!

  Grandpop and Me 
  Originally uploaded by Cavalier92

My grandfather, Stanley 'Kris' Pesotski, would have been 86 today.  As a child, I spent as much time as I could at his house (now Matt's), gardening, exploring the upstairs, listening to baseball on the radio and generally enjoying the whole experience.  I was as close to him as I was to anybody I guess.

He could be a difficult person and he drank more than he should, but he generally took his anger out on others, saving the best parts of himself for his first grandchild.  Though in physical pain most of his life, he worked his tiny plot of yard into the most amazing vegetable gardens I have ever seen, growing everything from grapes and peaches to horseradish and zucchini.  And tomatoes.  Mountains of tomatoes, eaten raw like apples, sliced with salt or sugar, cooked into paste or juice, or sold in a stand on the front yard.

Even after I went away to college (the picture at right is the only time he was on campus) we still stayed in touch.  Every now and then he would call.  I would stop by whenever I went home.  We talked often about the Phillies.  He got sick when I worked at Widener and I would take long lunches to visit him at the hospital or his house.  I knew my friend would be going soon and I wanted to spend as much time as I could.

He's been dead for over 12 years now and I still find myself picking up the phone to call him now and then.  I don't know what to make of that.   I want to tell him how much my son John loves baseball and what a sweet, funny thing Emma said last night.  I want to believe that he knows, that he has somehow seen, but I don't know for sure.  I just hope so.

Happy Birthday Gramps!  I miss you very much.

Another Summer Slipping Away

  Late Summer Back Yard 
  Originally uploaded by Cavalier92

Is it just me, or did you wake up this morning feeling like fall was nearly upon us?

Yesterday's sticky heat was swept away in last night's storms and there is a coolness in the air this morning that we have not felt in the Philadelphia area since May.  Fall is almost here.

August is a month that has some of the summer's hottest days, but also often has morning that force us to realize that the days of falling leaves and yellow school buses are bare days away.

When I was a child, we were often in Maine during the last weeks of August.  Nearly every morning was crisp and fall-like and the afternoons barely touched the 80s.  We usually got home just a few days before returning to school.  The coolness of this morning reminds me very much of the bittersweet feeling I used to get as the days of August drew closed in the col mooring stillness of Cape Porpoise.

Have a good weekend!

Heading Back To Cabrini

Last night I headed back to Cabrini for my 15th reunion, a poorly promoted, but nicely-executed dinner for the 12 or so members of the Class of 1992 who decided to gather.  It was a pretty pathetic showing, but still a fun time.  Four members of the Loquitur 1990-91 Editorial Board made the trip, and three of us live within five miles of each other here in South Jersey.  Carlo "The Chief" Iacono, Jen Morrison Naddeo, Managing Editor, Frank Emmerich, Photography Editor and myself were there representing the '92 paper people. 

Traveling the furthest for the festivities was Mary Shimkus Keinz, who was in town from Utah.  Jacqui Ricci Seeton came over the bridge from NJ.  Kathleen Finerty Sardi also made an appearance with my first college roommate and her husband Marco Sardi.  Aside from the silver gilt hair, Marco hasn't changed a bit and it was a pleasant surprise to see him.

Also in attendance were my girlfriend, who spent a lot of time talking to Carlo's wife Anne.  Dr. Angie Corbo, Class of '90,  is Frank's better half.  We also enjoyed the company of Lisa Lipar Schweitzer and Trish Greib, Class of '93, who were escaping kids and husbands for the dinner.  Bob Walter, '05, made us all laugh when he introduced himself as 'young.'  Dude, when you're trying to hit on somewhat older women, avoid noting the age difference.

A few of the faculty and staff dropped in.  Doc Girard held court as usual.  Marilyn Johnson hasn't changed a bit.  Toni "I am busy ruining this college" Iadarola didn't bother to stay for dinner. I enjoyed my conversation with Nancy Costello about how I was struggling with the place that Cabrini has become and what it did to John Dzik.  I'm not sure she understands, but I wasn't really tying to articulate it very well.

A couple of thoughts came out of the visit. 

First, the mansion, designed as by Horace Trumbauer is a wonderful building and setting, but is being severely neglected.  The floors are warping, the fixtures are aging badly and the basement is taking water.  They need to do something fast before the centerpiece of the campus falls into ruin.

Second, the turnout was a tragedy.  I'm not sure if it was because it was poorly promoted, or because so many of the alums remain disaffected, or because it's not a particularly interesting dinner, but 25 people for a reunion dinner was awful.  I hear the young alumni beef and beer on Friday night was better attended.  Perhaps more folks went today to the mass and breakfast.  The Mansion event used to be the signature event of the weekend and it has obviously fallen off to the point that it needs to be revitalized or scrapped.

Third, it was pathetic that the college's president didn't stay for dinner.  Jolyon Girard was left to make  a brief statement that Toni Iadarola had left for the night.  One can only hope the college will survive until she leaves office.

Fourth, we all had some fun.  Both last night and 'back in the day.'  While I know it got old for the spouses and guests, we all had a great time reminiscing and telling stories about our youthful indiscretions.   Thankfully Marco was gentle in his story telling and my girlfriend if very accommodating!

Finally, I wandered through the mansion and realized how much I missed seeing some people.  John Dzik should have been able to be there, but I don't think he feels welcome anymore, despite his status as an honorary alum.  Denise Edwards was never far from our thoughts and I wish we had not lost her back in December of 1992.  The House 7 Mafia was somewhat represented, but we need to do our own thing I think.

All in all, no one has changed much.  We were good friends back then and we easily let the years melt away and slipped back into that mode.  We were most interested in talking about our kids and how wild we used to be. Our kids are all wonderful and we were wilder than we wanted to admit.

See you all in 5 years!